recovering

thanks to this guy i'm gonna start updating my blog,
haha. MAYBE :)

terharu tak? terharu tak? hehehe ^^

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haha XD i didnt know ppl still uses blogger huh :P
i hav my tumblr but kinda lazy to update it too :)
guess why i suddenly wanna update my blog again,
ahah,cz there's this one guy,
he reads ppl's blog :P which i guess its a bit weird =='
cz i'm hell lazy to read ppl's blog :)
dont really like to read though :)
xcept for stuff like bio n chem ^^ haha, thats interesting :)
oh yeah. anyway, i dont know why, but then i felt like typing again ^^
stuff had been crazy lately! like real crazy! :)
good stuff n bad stuff ^^
1st, I HATE MELAKA
2nd, I HATE MCD
u know why dont you? =='
n now its killing me . huu~
hav to find money like, a lot!
its actually no big deal though,
its just that i only hav like 2 weeks left in school,
which is TOO SHORT to find that much of money,
but whatever it is, i have GREAT FRIENDS,
n they've promised to help,
n i have an AWESOME SISTER.
which does really help. A LOT
i love her do fucking damn much :)
oh, okay, so 1st, i have to find money
2nd, i havent booked any hotel 4 sgpore yet =='
sorry effy,
3rd, now we're so effin busy with school mag
4th, god! the dance for japan! urgh! =='
too tired to do that, but i have to .
5th, i have to go n get my passport ==' from the hiroshima club thinggy.
to go to spore, n when is that? hmm.
6th, oh yeah, n the namecard 4 evryone ==' gawsh

so yeah ppl, so long farewell. there's just too much stuff to do :)
oh btw, i can post private stuffs here cant i?
hehe ^^ but maybe later~ when i have the time.

credits to adi :)

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On your birthday I wish you much pleasure and joy;
I hope all of your wishes come true.
May each hour and minute be filled with delight,
And your birthday be perfect for you!




last post . wtf

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shvit! urgh. hardisk.
what the freaking hell is wrong with you? no way i'm gonna format you. hisyy.
wtf. feel like killing you , you know!
isyyy. cmon. laptop. haiyaaaaa!!!
i cant work like thiss!

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cheer's over,
now robotic n tp +_+
arghh! exam!

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wahh. cant stop crying when i watched that movie,
it was so sweett!!! n sadd!! n touching!!
i give it 5 stars. ahha, bling2.
smpai bengkak mate,
i dont even know which part that i didnt cry,
only some parts before her husband died.
gosh. her husband was so sweett!! really sweet.
n after her husband died. i cried at all parts all the way.
haha. funnayyy. beriyer pulak tuh.
lg beriyer dari patah hati. haha.

conclusion, go watch it youself,
I LOIKE!! HAHA :)

now, just even by looking at the pictures,
i feel like crying already, awww~~

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not mad ponn,
ngantok +________+
nk tido.

tralalaa~

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It feels like we've been out at sea, whoa
So back and forth that's how it seems, whoa
And when I wanna talk you say to me
That if it's meant to be it will be
Whoa oh no
So crazy is this thing we call love
And now that we've got it we just can't give up
I'm reaching out for you
Got me out here in the water
And I

I'm overboard
And I need your love to pull me up
I can't swim on my own
It's too much
Feels like I'm drowning without your love
So throw yourself out to me
My lifesaver
(Lifesaver, oh lifesaver)
My lifesaver
(Lifesaver, oh lifesaver)
Whoa


I never understood you when you'd say, whoa
Wanted me to meet you halfway, whoa
Felt like I was doing my part
You kept thinking you were coming up short
It's funny how things change cause now I see
Oh whoa
So crazy is this thing we call love
And now that we've got it we just can't give up
I'm reaching out for you
Got me out here in the water
And I

I'm overboard (overboard)
And I need your love to pull me up
I can't swim on my own
It's too much (it's too much)
Feels like I'm drowning (ohh)
Without your love
So throw yourself out to me
My lifesaver


Oh
It's supposed to be some give and take I know
But you're only taking and not giving anymore
So what do I do
Cause I still love you
(I still love you baby)
And you're the only one who can save me

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bought a new WATCH.
haha. me loike.

btw, now in tense.
dgr lagu justin bieber lg bgus,

ppl, go die.
haha.

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and this is you

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i mean, lately,
yeah, including myself, but i dont really know how to express stuff anymore,
like i used to.
somehow, it just doesnt feel right,
everything that i do,it just seem to....
i dont know.i dont feel like myself anymore,
okay, it been long since i kept this to myself.
i miss my friends. i miss them so fucking damn much!
i know2, all of u said we are still together and stuff like that.
i dont wanna bring this up,
but, we're not!! seriously,
i'm jealous of other people's friendship.
so freakingly jealous. i know u wont read this. so i cont care!
we used to be we, and now?
we're pretending to be we.i think so.
everytime i look at how we're not together anymore, my heart ache,
i feel like crying, but i think that too childish i guess,
or should i say i've cried enough.
how many time should i say? oh yes, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.
but yet. i think it makes no difference.
i know we wont be like we used to be.
i'm so far from u guys. not in the same class nor dorm,
yes the same floor but we didnt even visit each other.
maybe some of them were my fault. but i dont know~
i dont know what did i do,
or what i should do. i just.... i dont know,,
hmm.ok. so now. the tv playing a song which really suits my mood right now.
darn! i feel like crying. but no. hold it. shishh.
people say life's complicated. i say life's bullshit.
truth are lies , lies are truth.
how would you know? basically, what effy said is true.
i'm LOST! so lost. u ask me to smile?
screw you. no way.
yeah, that's what i'll say to myself. but still.
i'll smile. u know that.
few days ago. my brother said,
"tgk cm wawa nie.tade mslh pon. mslh frenship pon tade. bagus eh wawa nih. dye....blah3,"
i just kept quiet, that night, i think to myself.
how come people think i dont hav a problem? n no friendship problems?
o yeah. cz people never know. i guess i dont show.
no wonder u , both of u,
dont even know that i've been missing you guys all this while.
that i've been missing we. what happen to once upon a time?
hmm2. okay2, just expressing myself tonight. since everyone is expressing themselves.
haishh.

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went to kb mall.
ate tom yam.
went to pantai tok bali if i'm not mistaken,
haha.
going to pasir puteh tomorrow.

bought cereal n milk just now.
for breakfast tomorrow.
haha.yummay!! :P

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So here we stand
In our secret place
With a sound of the crowd
So far away
And you take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong

So how do I say?
Do I say goodbye?
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times


I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart


Queen of my heart


So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again


But no matter how far
(Matter how far)
Or where you may be
(Where you may be)
I just close my eyes
(I just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet




Oh yeah
You're the
Queen of my heart
(Of my heart)
No matter
How many years it takes
(Queen of my heart)
I'll give it all to you
Oh yeah
(Queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart

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wohoo! xm's over :)

i like ~
ahaha. but there's nothing interesting to be talked about.
so i'm not gonna write long.
well. i'm going to kelantan with effy this friday,
cant wait! :) we're gonna hav fun kn effy?
anyhoo, i'm gonna get some of my results tomorrow
but i'm not planning to on9
so. gonna tell you my results when i'm back.
or when there's any empty computers around :)
haha.till then.
tata~

my life right now,
is just the way it is.
just cant describe it.
thats that.
fullstop

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i dont know what to do,
or what to say,
i only ask u not to cry,
n be by her side.

till then.

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thank god! :)

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will you please comeback?
i miss you,
i need you. seriously.
no lies.
pleasee~
comeback. without you.
i'm nothing~ :((

will always be waiting for you.

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today, i cried,
but i dont exactly know why,
it tiring anyway,
guess i'm tired of my life huh,
and sometimes. when you're down.
the person who you need the most is not even there.
and sometimes he or she dont even wanna be there for you.
or maybe he or she doesnt even have the effort to be there for you.
and thats when you'll think.
is he or she worth it.
i mean. we,i tried to be there for them but in the end...
it just hurts yourself twice.
i dont exactly know what to say, but i'm really tired of my life right now.
school's getting worse.
its just not that fun anymore.
well. i guess i just have to hold on.
well, i came here to learn. a lot of stuff.
about life. and business is my life.
its everything i am. the only reason i'm staying.
is cause its easier to make any survey for business here.
and its easy for you to know what people are looking for in market.
whats hot and whats not.
and i'll start thinking about what to do in future :)
my passion is business i guess.
but i'm learning science. people always ask me why.
but i guess, its just more interesting and....
i bont know. hard :) haha. i like.
but i still like acc n stuff. n i'll try to learn it a.s.a.p
haha, keyh.i'm bullshitting already.
tonight. i wanna see who will be there for me.
we'll see..the thing is.
i'm tired of chasing people.
esp when people dont really know how to appreciate.
so i guess its enough now. i'm tired of life.
oh. how i wish i could work.
today is the day. i'll try to stop.
yes, i'm tired. i'm scared.
scared of getting hurt.scared of being dissapointed.
scared of betrayal.

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hehe :)
seriously. i'm speechless.
well. i'm too exhausted lately.
cant even think bout what to write.
haha.

heyy. tw, been trying to contact you,
i've called you more than 10 times.
haha. but nvm lah.

hmm. sorry to certain people.
for being too bz lately.
and i'm not there for you when you need me.
i'm so sorry. i really am.

well. i guess i can take a break from dancing for a while now.
need to focus more on magazine.
seriously lots of stuff in mind right now.

ouh yea. n really have to focus on teacher's day.
sorry ****** 4 da late info.
we'll talk about the design later.
i'll try to get it done asap.
so sorry.

n we really hav to start focusing on robotic again.
kn ama n audy??
hmm2.. gambatte! :)

so thats all for now i guess.
thats my life.
:))

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It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you, why

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you call youself a friend??
go get lost,pretender.

ohh. depan2. "wa! rse lame gle x nmpk kao"
"wa, kao ok x?" "wa,knape kao mengasingkan diri? "
n you acted like you freaking care about me?!
if you really fucking care bout me,
you wouldn't even do that freakin stupid thing!

ohh. so tell me the real you.
behind me, what did you say??
you think i wont know?
BABE! this is SSP! get a grip!

so, your plan is. in front of me,
you acted like you freakin agree what i said.
and you would never do anything in the world that would hurt me.
cause you know i would get hurt.
n now, WHAT DID YOU DO?
so you think you can keep it from me FOREVER?
thats STUUUUUUPPPPPIIIIIDDDDD!!!

dude, i gave you a choice.
n this is what you choose. so screw you. screw me.
screw evryone. this is what you think about friendship?
well, know what. CONGRATULATIONS!
you got the right answer. FOR YOU!
hav fun.

you wanted people to change for you.
have you ever thought about changing for anyone?
you said you knew me,you said you understand me.
u asked me to trust you. n now.
YOU DID THIS!TO ME!!
anything you wanna say????

so okay. i was wrong. fine,
why didnt you confront me??
i could have tried to change.
although what i did got nothing to do bout what you did.
i mean, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

i know you knew i would be freakingly MAD!
YES, YOU DO! cause you told me you do.
you know why i wasted my time telling you all those stories.
and all my feelings??cause i never wanted this to happen.
and i thought you wouldnt do this to me!
but sorry for being that dumb! happy now? you got me!

i told you!I TOLD YOU! i never wanted stuff to repeat.
and you gave your word. yes, YOU DID! never deny it.
you said this wouldnt happen. but again,
yes, i was dumb,dumb,dumb! thanks to you.

remember the day we wrote stuff on the whiteboard?
you remember what i wrote and what you wrote?
or maybe it was nothing to you?
cause i'm no one to you.
remember i wrote i never want history to repeat?
n remember what you've replied.
so tell me, this whole time.
THAT WAS ALL A LIE??
was that all your fun and games?
well you've got yourself entertained.
good for you. i got a job!
a part-time entertainer! thank YOU!

know what people. you freakin trust your friend?
you call them your true friend.
screw your friends!
they're the one that will make your tears.
wait till your time comes people.feel to believe.

you wanna know how i felt right now.
my heart, i tell you, had never been this painful before.
my hands, were shaking
my eyes, well you ca guess how they looks like right now.
my heart keep aching and aching and aching.
bleeding.blood.tears.pain.suffering.
finally, DISAPPOINTMENT.

god, get me through this.

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pissed.

anyhoo.realise something?
we're different now kn? n i dont like that.
act there's more i wanna write.
but i'm too pissed off right now.
so later.

ps: diddy, you better get back here right now!

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this is not an advice.

this is a warning.

true friends doesnt exists.

realize before you regret.

bestfriends? true friends? i'll tell you what.

thats bullshit!

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I've been trying to see you
For such a long long time
Maybe I'm just sad to face that i
but I won't lie
When it comes to loving you
All the things that I would do

Been waiting for this day for far too long
I never could imagine it so strong
As long as I'm with you, I can't go wrong
Oh baby what you do to me?
You're the one

How I try to reach you
Oh In everyway I can
But it's hard to find a way to show
that I'm yours

When it comes to loving you
All the things that I would do



:) thank you. for everything i have right now. esp you <3

tw, yes i do.

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i dont know hows my life's going on right now.
i guess there's just too much stuff going on.
didnt get enough sleep for the last 3 days.
last weekend i slept at 5 am just to all these freakin designs.
n i didnt even touch my homework.AT ALL!
and then i have to like rush all of it last nyte.
n the last thing i said before i slept was, "whatever,screw you homeworks"
n i slept. anyhoo.today was the first time i slept during addmths class.
usually i was very thrilled n stuff to stdy addmts.
but i dont know. plus. i'm fasting today.
yeah,i know, it shouldnt be an excuse.
but i'm seriously exhausted. so sorry. hmm. kinda felt guilty, but..
its the past.right now. i'm having a headache.
aishh. :( we're supposed to propose all these design n stuff this wednesday.
but obviously, the designers are not ready yet.
so not ready. but. wtv. dont wanna think bout it nemore.

hmm. p/s : 'tw' thx for 040410. kept me happy for the whole day i guess.
or mayb till now. but,nway. i do felt better. a lot better :) thx. twtwtw <3
stdy hard yea? pls? seriously wanna see you succeed. tc!

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so you're trying to say that i've hurt you,
n i kept hurting you?
well, sorry,
i thought you knew me.
but i was wrong.
do you even know how hard it is to be me?
do you really believe how i look on the outside?
i thought u get me.
but guess, u dont yea?
well, there's nothing i can do if u choose to be so.
just do whatever you wanna do.

p/s : you hurt me more when you talk halfway.

if can, do wake me up.

btw, why should you be hurt? arent i'm the one who's going through the hard life?

dont you have everyone you need n evrything you need? or more?

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If I walk would you run?
If I stop would you come?
If I say you’re the one
would you believe me?

If I ask you to stay
would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say
so you don’t leave me.

The world is catching up to you
while your running away
to chase your dream
Its time for us to make a move
cause we are asking one another to change
and maybe im not ready

but im trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

if I sing you a song
would you sing along?
or wait till im gone ,
oh how we push and pull
if I give you my heart
would you just play the part?
or tell me it’s the start of something beautiful

am I catching up to you
while your running away ,
to chase your dreams
its time for us to face the truth
cause we are coming to each other to change
and maybe im not ready

but im trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one
would you believe me?

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if u know u are hurting me.
n keep hurting me.
why cant you just stop hurting me.
be my friend.
n stop doing stuff i dont like.
yeah. u can talk to me.
but dont make me mad. dont do that!
i really dont like it.
n dont mind u did or what u wanna do.
taking titles or wtv. i dont mind.
but, u know..............
just dont talk halfway.
n dont come to my dorm(my bay) if u dont wanna talk to me.
or should i say. if u wanna talk to otha ppl,
or u're gonna talk to otha people. that annoys me.
truthfully.i just dont know what to say.
just do anything u wanna do.
n i dont mind if u still wanna be my friend or anything.
but just think before u do something.

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well, its been ............
idk. since i last updated my blog.
but, yeah, kinda lost the momentum to start writing blog again.
too busy right now.
n my life's not in a good condition.
haha.well,
i dont really care bout anyone right now.
cause.....why should i nway.
i have lots of other stuff to do.
but. there's something that really worries me right now.
only "she" knows.
please. i dont want stuff to repeat. it will be worse.
that was the last thing that i want to happen

hmm, next, i was thinking.....
lots of stuff.
u loved someone even if u dont want to.
n u know u shouldnt.
but u do. so how?

know what.
i'm still worried. because..
yeahh.
i feel like i'm losing people in my life.
i feel like people that i love are getting further from me.
or should i say. i'm scared that other people would take sumone away from me?
idk how to explain. but.
i really dont want that to happen.
i dont know what type of person am i.
but, i guess.
i love people too fast.
i love a person too much.
n i dont want to lose that person from my life.


hmm, but wtv, i have stuff to do,
n i'm dead! :(

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my legs hurt.
my mom's not coming.
exam's in 3 days.
freaking scared for everything.
robotic comp in one week.
i'm getting out of my mind.
not going back for long during holz :(
absolutely homesick.
sobs :((

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WARGHHHH!!!
EMO!EMO!EMO!
the robot is so like freakin stupid.
n eveyone's getting emo!
everyone's emo today!
shit! i'm so pissed off today!!
i dont know whyyyyyy??!!
felt like crying. but wth.
aarrrgghhhh!!!
never been this emo before!

mood : 101% EMO

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haha. i'm quite happy today i guess.

in need of ULTRAMAN! haha :P
tw *love*

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